Fooey Files: Accidental Summoning Leaves Demon Disappointed

From the Fooey Files archive, Feb 11, 2014.

Sourced from a newspaper article, transcribed by Mr. X.

KIRKLAND, WA—Police are wrapping up their investigation of a bizarre woodside incident that has left a local Wiccan community struggling to find answers. At around 2:15 AM Sunday morning, three women identifying themselves as followers of the Wicca religion allegedly summoned a demon roughly 12-15 feet in height, and completely black, like a shadow, with smoky white eyes and shiny teeth.

Jo Beth Ryder, 57, explained that the summoning was accidental. “Wiccan spells are not satanic, they are a form of prayer,” she told me. “We do not practice the art of summoning or any other demonic magick.”

The actual summoner of the demon, Autumn Winters, 34, explained what happened after the demon appeared. “He was not violent and did not make any hostile moves towards us. Even though he looked quite scary, he did not want to hurt us. At first, he spoke in a language we didn’t understand, but then I said to him ‘What are you trying to tell us?’ and after that he switched to English,” said Winters.

“He asked us what he wanted us to do now that we had summoned him from the ‘Dark Plane.’ We told him we didn’t know what he was talking about, and after that he seemed to be less enthusiastic and asked us if we needed anyone cursed, or if we wanted someone to get sick or die or anything,” said Winters. “We told him we were peace-loving and would never wish that on anyone.”

Ryder explained the demon then asked why he had been summoned, after which they had told him about the spell they had used. The demon asked for the book and they handed it over. The demon then seemed angry for a moment and handed the book back to them. “After that, he just sat down for a bit. We were all a little worried because he didn’t leave right away, but because we called the police we knew they would be able to handle it even if we couldn’t,” added Ryder.

The woman had called the police immediately, and ten minutes later, the authorities had arrived but were at a loss as to how to proceed. “In my 30 plus years on the force, I have never seen anything like this,” explained the responding officer, Brian White, 53, “Maybe Burning Man.”

Shortly after arriving, the demon turned his attention to the officer and sat up. “The suspect asked me if I wanted to put a hit on anyone, which presumably he would then carry out himself. I declined his offer, after which the suspect retreated back to the place whence it came.”

The third woman who witnessed the incident, only agreed to speak with me on the condition that she remain anonymous. “Honesty, I don’t actually follow the Wiccan faith. I’m an agnostic and all of my prayers are from Dr. Seuss. I come out here with the girls in order to gossip and scrapbook by campfire every Saturday night. Also, Jo cooks the most delicious food. The Saturday this happened she made these boysenberry cheesecake muffins that were to die for.”

The spell that supposedly summoned the demon was read from a nameless book purchased from Barnes & Noble during an annual Holiday Sale.

Chase, Kim. “Police Wrapping Demon Case.” Kirkland Daily 23 Mar. 2003. Print.

Thanks to forum moderator ConspiredTheorem for the find.